I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
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I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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