I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize