like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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