we have pet lesbian snakes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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