hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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