I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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