as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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