Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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