If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
zippers are such a cool invention
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
