What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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