I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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