My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
