he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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