you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
