It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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