do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
