But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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