That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
