i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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