Don't make out with my wife yet
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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