I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize