We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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