2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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