loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
