cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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