this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
