i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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