tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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