is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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