Its about making memories worth repressing
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Is it penis luge time yet?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
there is puke in my bra ... again
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
