Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
