The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
