i need an iv and a liver transplant
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We just shotgunned beers for America
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
