so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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