i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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