Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
