ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You were trust falling into bushes
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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