I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I could fuck to npr.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
