People with herpes should wear stickers.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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