so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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