GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize