he puts the penis in happiness.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
