and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
