I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
