all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
