There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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