Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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