I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
