then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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