Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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