oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
