i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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