He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize